Finding my way

In one of my previous blog posts I described Headlessness. It is something that has changed my life. This is a quiet time at the moment; for me anyway. Gareth is fully engaged in preparing the Hymer for our soon-to-be-happening trip to Italy. For my part I have been on a magical mystery tour of ideas. Judy’s U3A group, Youniverse, has opened lots of new doors and opportunities for learning. I am meeting lots of new and interesting people, all of whom, like me, now have sufficient time (and life experience) to seek answers to those big questions: “What’s it all about?”, “Why am I here?”, “What’s my purpose?”, “Who am I?”

If you watched the Royal Wedding you may have listened to the sermon. It hit me like a bolt of lightening when I watched it on iPlayer. What the minister was saying about Love and its power to heal everything is the message that is coming through loud and clear in all of my readings and associations. Someone/something is trying to get through to me! (If I turn on the radio now and “All we need is love”……. Well! That would seal it!)

No, I didn’t turn on the radio, but it is true that I am on some sort of journey. The journey probably began during the time when Gareth and I lost all four parents, as well as a close aunt of mine, in a very short space of a time. They went down like dominoes. I don’t know whether it’s a privilege to have seen death at close hand, but there’s nothing like seeing that last breath leave and the stillness that follows. Of course, a peaceful death isn’t everyone’s fate and listening to bereaved, heart-breaking accounts of the Grenfell Tower disaster last night raises more huge questions. 

So, where am I on this little soul search of mine? Well, I am certain that there’s more to life than meets the eye, and the directive “Be excellent to each other” (from the film “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”) means exactly what the Royal Wedding minister was saying (worth another listen, I reckon). The imperative appears to be that our egos are an obstacle in being excellent to each other. To be truly selfless is a real challenge, for me anyway. I know that there are selfless souls doing excellent work in the world and without them we would all be in purgatory. I must try to be more like them.

In terms of how things/I have changed as a result of my meanderings, synchronicity is a real feature! I have experienced synchronicity at other times in my life and I am realising that the more aware I am of it the more frequently it occurs. Ok, you scientists, if you’re reading this (and you’ve probably ditched it by now) we can debate it if you like. My father was a Philosopher of Science and nothing in his work precludes the things I am discovering.

Numinosity is also a feature that is occurring more frequently but I’m not going to fall into the trap of giving its source a name; there are so many possibles, and I don’t want to be labelled as belonging to any religion.  

So that’s where I am. Amongst the books I’ve read recently are the”Tao Te Ching”, “The Child Within Us Lives” by William Samuel, “The Swan in the Evening” by Rosamond Lehmann, and I regularly return to Douglas Harding’s book “On Having No Head - Zen and the Rediscovery of the Obvious”. Each is a very differently presented view of the same thing; knowledge of being part of a universal consciousness, and how to live accordingly.

My next blog is likely to be about our very down-to-earth journey in the Hymer, telling you about my navigationally challenged efforts to find our way around and the inevitable fall-outs, dogs, weather, campsite shocks and delights, etc., but I have wondered whether I should use Hymer to promote my evangelical message of Love to the World by painting “Love and Peace” on Gareth’s nice shiny bodywork (the camper’s bodywork I mean) with big daisies and a smile. Somehow I don’t think the captain would be impressed.

a

Losing my head

Losing my head

If you’re following my blog, you’ll know that I haven’t written a blog for a while. We are having a ‘lean’ non-travelling month, catching up on life’s maintenance chores and preparing for our forthcoming trip to Italy at the end of the month. Gareth is trying to learn Italian, I am revising my French, the van is getting Gareth’s detailed attention in terms of servicing, and our house purchase looks like going ahead this time (fingers crossed).

Being grounded for a bit has enabled me to pick up with some of the groups I joined through U3A Swansea (that’s University of the Third Age). My interests being always philosophical, these groups are inevitably reading and discussion groups. The group I’ve been a member of longest is Youniverse, influenced in the main by the work of Douglas Harding and a way of being called The Headless Way. So, I’ve been doing soul work and it was going well until yesterday.

My family believe that I am a natural hippy and our current lifestyle may, to some extent, confirm that I am. I am a peace lover - nothing special about that, of course, and I do innately believe that “Love is All You Need” and in the face of the sins of the world I am working on being more Zen about it all. If you’ve read my previous posts you will know that I’ve been making an effort to live more ethically in terms of such things as plastic and overconsumption. I am trying to live in a belief that the tree hugger part of me will help set an example and in some albeit minuscule way, help to save our planet. And then I read some of Slavoj Zizek’s work and find my green liberalism ridiculed. It’s curious how my ‘faith’ is being challenged every day and in many ways. Take this little conundrum (small and inconsequential, you might think):

Gareth, in preparing the camper for our Italy trip, has been learning about its mechanics, in case it breaks down and so that we can avoid expensive repair bills. There are apparently functions built into the system that set off an alert and stops the vehicle until it has been professionally examined. These functions seem to be part of the emissions restrictions required at manufacture. On-line, drivers consistently say that these functions can easily be over-ridden when the alert comes on, and that most often all that is needed is a hard driving interval to clear any soot that has built up in the system, so avoiding the expensive, and mostly unnecessary diagnostics and servicing. Sounds great, but I’m thinking “what about that soot?” But…..that’s me!

Yesterday evening, after a beautiful May Bank Holiday Monday, sun shining, warm, the beach colourfully peopled and the smells of BBQ’s mingling with a light sea mist, we took a walk out to one of the spots where you can sit and watch the sun go down and take in the sweep of the bay in all of its breathtaking beauty. On the highest point, from where the view is the most expansive, a ‘disposable’ bbq sat, still hot, with a burger on it, still in plastic and turning slowly to rubber and the debris of a not-too-wholesome picnic scattered around and abandoned. My question to the Universe at that point was “ARE YOU TAKING THE P..S?!” We gave up on our walk and spent the rest of our evening rattled and angry with the whole of humanity. Our mood wasn’t improved any either, when someone drove up late to one of the neighbouring caravans and was clearly oblivious to how his noise interrupted our sleep.

These are small things and they say not to sweat the small stuff. War, famine, disaster and destruction are much bigger things to be concerned about, but what hope is there if we can’t be kind to our fellows in the little ways? I really have some work to do if I am to rise above the things that are happening around us, the big and the small.

And now I hear that Donald Trump is being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize!!!

Have a good day, folks!