Reflections in a muddy puddle (the puddle being my mind)

The last pot of honey

Sigh! My porridge will never be the same! For five years we have had a jar of honey on the breakfast table, honey produced by our own bees in our own garden. The last, now empty jar is a symbol of how our lives have taken a very different track from the one we were headed on five years ago. 

Back then, in 2013, we had a five star B&B business, a large house and garden and working to supply our guests with a king’s breakfast - free range eggs from our own chickens, home baked organic breads and muffins, apple juice from our own apple tree, locally produced bacon, cockles and laverbread, high quality, locally sourced dairy goods, and our own honey. Our breakfasts were always well received and and at one point we extended our hospitality with afternoon teas and an evening meal menu. Persuaded by my son, William, we established a vegetable garden, in spite of Gareth’s reluctance to dig up the lawn and erect some greenhouses. My darling boy took on the role of head gardener, planted some potatoes and various other things and then promptly moved off in search of a life with his lady love. I kept it going for a while until caring for my parents took over.

I digress a bit. The point I am making is that things have changed considerably since then. The death of four parents and the associated house clearances changed our outlook completely. Life is too short. Everybody says so, and the opportunities for manifesting our dreams are few and far between in the busy years. So we reviewed our situation and came up with the current one of ‘living differently’; differently from the way we had been living anyway. As I've already told you, there are loads of people doing what we are doing right now, travelling around the country in motorhomes or caravans, leaving the day-to-day concerns of ‘standard’ lifestyles behind. Happy, healthy and affluent retirement is a fact for many of my generation and they are busily spending their children’s inheritance (I know that's a sweeping generalisation, but it's what the younger generation like to think).

Affluence is a relative notion of course (it depends on whether your relatives have more money than you 😉) and Gareth and I are trying to live our new life as un-affluently as possible. And herein lies a dilemma. Ethics for me isn't a place in the south of England (as my father used to joke) and I like to think that I am ecologically sensitive and actively Earth-caring. Plastic waste is something I have railed against and I have vowed to reduce my own use of the material. Try doing so when you're trying to live cheaply, though, and it seems impossible! Yes, we recycle, but that's a bit like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted. 

Another value that I tried to uphold is community support and non-reliance on the Big Corps. In running our B&B we found that without cutting our costs considerably we were earning well below the minimum wage. Cost cutting unfortunately entailed supermarket shopping instead of from small local producers and retailers. I am ashamed to say that as we travel about in our camper our   food store is almost entirely supermarket bought apart from milk, bread and eggs that we buy along the way. The lovely little towns and villages that we have passed through are dotted with little businesses trying to eke out a living, as we did with the B&B. Each depends on enticing locals and tourists to come in and buy. The appearance of motorhomers in February must be a welcome sight, but a huge disappointment when they are seen eating their Lidl-bought lunches and dinners in their diesel spewing pods and then moving on.

Gareth is all for economy; our economy, that is. Left to me, we’d be bankrupt by now. I'd have supported every little restaurant, tea room, bakery and gift shop, be fat and diabetic and have more stuff to carry than we have room for (and it wouldn't be plastic). He has actively found us cheap campsites, researched every item for best prices (which are inevitably via Amazon) and avoided parking charges with a passion.  Maybe Ethics really is somewhere in the south of England.

Having now travelled from coast to coast through Lancashire and Yorkshire at the moment we are parked up at my sister’s campground in Lincolnshire for a few days and as you can tell, I am finding time to reflect on these things. At the age of 64 I am still a bit of an idealist. Realism doesn't and never has affected me much; that's what Gareth is for. 

The North!

Well, we've been up hill and down dale literally. We've been three days in the Yorkshire Dales and now we're in the Yorkshire Moors. We've bounced and rattled through all sorts of terrain, enjoying all kinds of weather and putting our camper firmly to the test. And today was a big test!

I like to think I'm a pretty decent navigator. I have good sense of direction certainly, though I do have some difficulty reading our road map, even with my reading glasses (don't talk to me about Sat Navs!) Yes, I had seen a note on our camping club map about something called Sutton Banks and as we headed for the moors after some shopping in Thirsk we also saw ‘No caravans this way’ signs along the road we were taking. Intrigued, and confident that we aren't exactly a caravan, we trundled along passing each and every warning sign. I was bemused by the last sign which suggested doom and then, there it was! The land reared up suddenly before us and a 25% hairpin climb took us completely by surprise. It was scary! Gareth paled and the van laboured up the slope as he changed down into lowest gear. With each bend and each flashing ‘25% climb’ warning of disaster I didn't dare look backwards and down to where the road we had come along so blithely met the bottom of the cliff. Thankfully we did reach the top and we could breathe again. We pulled into a National Park car park and put the kettle on. All of our pots, pans and fridge contents had remained safely in place and we could be happy that our recent haul from Lidl hadn't ended up in a messy pile at the bottom of Sutton Banks. Phew! 

It wasn't the only scare today, though, and we learnt another lesson. I'm up at night writing this because I can't sleep for thinking about it. Sutton Banks being a spectacular landscape feature we thought we should take a look and give the dogs a run at the same time. A properly accessible footpath struck out along the Cleveland Way and we wellied our way along it, dogs gaily springing and muddying themselves. A few days ago Gareth had remonstrated with me for letting the dogs loose in unknown territory and for narrowly avoiding a trip to the vet after having to extricate Bess from a barbed wire fence. Today we lost Pwdin. Gareth whistled and whistled, whistled, called and whistled. I panicked, having seen that the wooded edge to the pathway hid a sheer drop. I had been nervous about it but Gareth had been happy for the dogs to scurry around in the undergrowth doing what spaniels do and now there was no sign of her. Pwdin doesn't bark either, and we knew that if she was in trouble we wouldn't find her by listening out for her. Bless her, she eventually, after what felt like ages, reappeared out of the shrubbery on the steep side, out of breath but seemingly unharmed. It's at times like that you wish your pets can talk. We'll never know what the episode was from her perspective.

That wasn't all, either. Shaken, but relieved (and Gareth shamefaced that he'd been so careless with the dogs), we headed back to the van. A suitable puddle in which to swill off my muddy boots proved to be water over a slab of ice down onto which I inevitably fell and on which I then slithered around like a jellied eel (do they slither?) trying to get up again. I've never felt so much like an old lady as I wriggled about and had to be helped up by another tourist (yes, Gareth came to my rescue too, when he saw what was happening, though he did ask the stupidest question - “What on earth are you doing?”). 

So that was our ungainly introduction to the Yorkshire Moors. Southerners that we are, we've been unprepared for February weather in The North. Gareth almost got frostbite one day taking photos at a high point between Paterly and Grassington. The place is called Coldstones, and we found out why! The view was terrific though.

Anyway, we are parked up for the night in a beautiful Yorkshire town called Helmsley. A couple of bottles of Rioja relieved the shock and indignity of my fall, though the bruises are starting, now, to hurt. Poor Pwdin hasn't had any Rioja to help her over her shock. She’s been much more subdued tonight. I wonder if in her sleep she's reliving her close encounter with death.

First proper trip

Poor Gareth. This whole motorhome acquisition event has had the shine taken off it, first by the hassle we had getting our money back for the first one, and now by a fluey cold (is it man-flu, though, I wonder). Our plan to join the family in Stoke this weekend was thwarted by a virus! Concerned that flu might be brewing I insisted we wait a day before getting on the road. It did give us a bit more time to organise the van and on Sunday, we headed off through mid-Wales, anticipating an early camp so that the poorly captain could get some rest. In the event, we kept going (or Gareth, as driver, kept going, drinking strong coffee and sucking cough sweets). We hoped we might make it to a campsite near Stoke and still have some time with the family. Tall order. So we booked ahead to a nice club site near Oswestry (Lady Margaret’s Caravan and Motorhome Club site), arrived in the dark and opened the wine! Chillax! 

We're actually heading for Preston. On Tuesday morning we have to be at a motorhome service centre run by a Hymer enthusiast and specialist. The van was booked in for a couple of repairs before we bought it, so Preston is where we have to go. From there - who knows where we might wander. Everything we need is on board.

In terms of this being an exercise in living differently, apparently we aren't so different after all! There are loads of people out on the roads in motorhomes and caravans, going and stopping where the fancy takes them. We were surprised this evening to find this site quite full! And it's a large site! The term “travellers” usually denotes unwashed anarchists in decrepit eccentric trucks, travelling in convoys to wander the countryside making a mess of farmers’ land. However, there is definitely a sector of travellers that are well heeled and conventional in every club membership, satellite TV subscribing, Sunday car-washing, fleece-wearing, M&S shopping respect (sorry, have I just created another stereotype? We don't entirely conform to that one, either). Fat pensions or inheritances have enabled the current older generation to live like birds, and wave at other travellers as they pass each other on the highways and byways. It's another fellowship. Most, of course, have a paid-for home to go home to as well, I suspect, unlike us for whom ‘home’, currently, is a collection of stuff distributed between two sons’ properties, a storage unit and a static caravan. The latter will be our abode once the season starts. Yes, we are buying a house, but we won't be living in it ourselves initially. We will rent it out in order to pay for travel.

Tonight (Monday) we are at Southport in a club site poised to get to Preston early tomorrow. Attached are some photos taken at a beach spot nearby. It's near Pontins and it's clear that the place has seen more vibrant times!

By the way - something to make you smile. When I mentioned in the previous blog post about our not-checking-the-toilet-cassette mistake, I didn't say that while we have a bucket on board…..it's a collapsible one!

Got it!

Motorhomers at last! Yes, the second camper fits the bill! It has its idiosyncrasies but it supplies Gareth with enough trouble-shooting activities and improvement possibilities to keep him happily occupied. In fact, he's so happy that he isn't bemoaning the cold he's caught and seems to be coping with the sore hip, even though he has to clamber up into a high bed each night.

We've been back in Gower with the van since Saturday, camped up in Killay so as to catch up with Owen, Jess, Reuben and Ivy, and prep the camper for a month of living in it. Cheap skates as we are, we've camped ‘wild’ a few nights in the community centre car park. First lesson - make sure to have enough gas to keep you warm when the temperature outside is below freezing! Getting out of bed and preparing the rig to move off before dawn just to get some heat from the engine, isn't the best way to do this! Also, arriving at a basic campsite in the dark, taking ages to find a level spot, only to find that the toilet cassette is full and the local ‘facilities’ unusable, is not clever either!

Anyway, after a night with a couple of bottles of wine, Gareth doing his tax return and the wind rocking us gently as the spirits sang in the waves on the beach next to us, we woke to see day breaking over the beautiful estuary that has been, and still is home to us. We can see across the water to each of the places we have lived in Gower. Do we miss those places? No! Gower is still there for us but now, happily, we are free to roam.

Put it down to experience

Well, that was interesting! At least we learned something from it and I'll eventually figure out what that is, I guess.

On Friday, as planned, we left The Sidings before dawn, travelling to Taunton in order to receive our beautiful camper. It was parked up ready for us, paid for and insured. We climbed in and waited for someone to come and take us through everything and to hand over. Meanwhile we checked it over, and made sure the things that had been promised had been done; and that's when things started to go downhill.

My first disappointment was with the shower floor repair. The tiny nick that simply needed a touch of filler had certainly been filled, but with a dirty finger that left an unsightly smudge of resin. It was worse than the original problem! Gareth had found that a door catch hadn't been replaced as promised and it was clear that the van hadn't been fully valeted, as evidenced by the dead flies falling out of the skylights. When our displeasure was communicated a number of grease monkeys appeared with spray bottles and rags to put things right. As I showed one of them the dead flies in a skylight, water dripped and alarm bells rang! No amount of reassurance from the salesman that it was a fixable problem would convince Gareth that the seals hadn't been compromised, either by weathering or the pressure wash we were told was probably the culprit (who pressure washes rubber seals and skylights anyway? It's bound to create problems!). Our confidence in the vehicle was shattered, Gareth said we'd have our money back and we drove away again with me in tears. 

Being neither of us in any state to think what we should do next other than find somewhere to stay, we booked a room at a quirky little BnB called the Fitzhead Inn and drove around in circles trying to find it. It proved to be cosy, with friendly company in the bar and a nice meal. As I snuggled into bed, determined not to think about the “what next” Gareth busied himself on the laptop. Gently he mentioned that the night before, he had come across another camper - same model, a bit younger but with a higher mileage. It was for sale privately in the Peak District. Did we have anything to lose by going up to see it? The seller’s emailed response was positive, so off we went again in our little Berlingo van full of dogs and the worldly goods we were carrying with us. 

The M5 in pouring rain is no fun, and made worse by lane closures and crawling traffic. Rain became snow by the time we got onto the M6 and we began to wonder about the road conditions on the way to Buxton where we had booked into the Palace Hotel for the night. A cuppa for us at Richard and Libby’s and a run in Fenton Park for the dogs was a nice break, giving me the opportunity of some cuddles with Margot and a rare calling-by chat with my eldest and his lady. We missed Seb though, who’d been delivered to his other grannie for a sleep over. 

We arrived in a Christmas-card Buxton in the dark. The Peaks were white and the camper van seller was questioning the possibility of our being able to see the vehicle, parked as it was in a barn in a remote high-up farm. We picnicked that night in our dog-friendly room, bathed and watched a film, hoping that the weather would be ok in the morning. It wasn't, but the seller was happy to oblige us with a viewing if we could get there and so we did.

The van was no match for one we'd left behind in Taunton, at least in terms of its interior. This one has been used but it has been loved, and being a Hymer, has withstood being lived in and everything works. We've been back at The Sidings for a few days until the camper is ready for us on Thursday. Wish us luck that we are luckier this time.

Reflecting on the experience of dealing with a dealer, particularly after hearing other tales of dodgy dealerships I am dismayed that quality control and apprenticeship training is not up to scratch. Obviously it's a risk buying secondhand, but we are finding that a good honest private seller inspires more confidence than a dealership where guarantees mean nothing at all.

Living lightly?

It's just four and a half days until we get our motorhome! We've been idling here at “The Sidings”, enjoying the time with my sister and her Wayne and doing the research needed to make our new lifestyle plan a do-able one. Also…… we've had an offer accepted on the little house we viewed before we came up north. So, that's another piece of the jigsaw falling into place.  

My youngest, Owen, seems especially happy with the prospect of us buying the place in question, possibly because it isn't far from him and he sees the advantage of having child-minding facilities on his doorstep, or he's glad that his strange mother is now putting money back into bricks and mortar. As far as being a convenient grandchildren drop off is concerned, that is at least a couple of years off, as we intend putting a tenant in as soon as possible. 

A niggle in the back of my mind is that my attraction to the property is in fact, because of its proximity to Owen, Jess and the children. I can't deny that an alternative retirement dream of mine was of a future with grandkids coming to tea, helping me plant flowers, make cakes and having a stay-over room just for them. I’ve wrestled with these conflicting desires and know that when travelling I will miss the regular and close contact I have had with the little ones, Reuben and Ivy. However, now that we are relieved of the chores of running a BnB and have a home to carry on our backs, I might also get to spend a bit more time with Richard, Libby, Seb and Margot. 

I remember the wonderful feeling that came with the arrival of Sebastian, my first grandchild. I'd had to make all sorts of care arrangements for my (now dear departed) mother in order to get to see him and hold him. We are four grandchildren in now, and lives being so busy, regular visits to and between my sons’ families have become more difficult. Now that Gareth and I have un-busied ourselves though and put our home on wheels we can ‘live local’ wherever we want! ….. but only if we have a tenanted property providing us with some income. 

I'm hoping, of course, that things work out in such a way that I'll also be able to visit my far-away-in-Canada son, William and Izzy, his lady. They have cats instead of children, and while Skype is a great facility, it isn't the same as a proper visit. We can't, unfortunately, stretch to getting an amphibious motorhome in order to get out to family across the Pond and beyond so flying out is the only option and then we’d have to kennel the dogs.

Dogs. Last night we compiled an order from Amazon (yes, I know! convenience and price wins over ethics…..again!). It's for stuff to equip the motorhome and includes a rather expensive rechargeable vacuum cleaner. Why an expensive one? Well, our two springer spaniels shed like mad and with blown air heating I don't fancy having dog hair drifting in our air like dandelion fluff. The next issue is how to restrain them while travelling and how to keep them from getting underfoot. Then, how do we de-muddy them after soggy walks without having to redecorate each time? This will be fun 🙄. As I say, the success of this venture depends very much on how it works out with the dogs.

As I sit here writing this at past 9.00 am, Gareth languishes in bed still, and the dogs wait patiently for him to take them out. I could take them out myself, as I often do, but I prefer to write when the mood takes me and in any case they are HIS dogs! Ok, I love them too, but I do get irritated by the intrusion of their needs into ours. Nevertheless, I believe that having a pet is to have it for life, and one way or another, they will be accommodated.

And speaking of ethics (was I?), I have been pondering how this plan of ours fits with my wish to live more lightly on this earth. I do all of the usual things, like recycling and up-cycling where I can. However, I am painfully aware of the need we all have to do more; to question the provenance of the things we buy, to reduce our waste and our use of plastics, but, Gareth and I are about to spend lots of time travelling about in an aluminium box spewing diesel fumes into the countryside and consuming fossil fuel to keep us warm. I console myself that it is at least a second-hand vehicle (is it therefore recycled?) with a solar panel and that the little house we are buying is also old (it could be about 150 years old), so also recycled…..in a way.

Anyway, there’s the question: How do we find a way to reduce our carbon footprint while living this little dream of ours? All sensible suggestions welcome.

Pastures new

Ok, then, here it is and here is Gareth, imagining himself off in some remote place, with all that he needs packed into the tin can that will soon be ours:

That’s the first piece of our ‘living differently’ picture. Believe it or not, it's a 17 year old vehicle in mint condition - less than 900 miles on the clock. The story is that it was bought with loads of extras but the guy’s wife wasn't keen on motorhoming so it sat on the driveway for years. 

There is a little snag - it's left hand drive. Mind you, that will be an advantage when we finally get to travel abroad. We pick it up in a couple of weeks and then who knows where we might show up!

You'd think that having finally found this key to freedom we'd be excitedly planning our adventures and rubbing our arthritic fingers together with glee. Instead we are fretting over whether we've made the right decision! It's another item of stuff requiring practical and financial upkeep. I'm tempted to paint birds and daisies on the outside but Gareth is conscious of the need to keep it in good resale condition. Sigh! He's right, of course. After a bit of travelling in it with two dogs under foot we might decide it's not for us after all, and it would be nice to get some of our money back.

Anyway, that's one decision made. The next is to find a house and we are very likely to repeat the process of buying something that didn't fit the criteria we shortlisted (we never intended buying an old van, or one that is LH drive…..or one that isn't automatic……) House hunting today turned up an interesting little property that we are very tempted to put an offer in on. Again, you'll have to wait and see what comes of it.

Our time in Mumbles is coming to an end as we head up to Lincolnshire on Saturday. My sister Jen and her partner Wayne live in a converted railway carriage on what is now a hobby railway sidings. They run a little motorhome park business and also have a cabin that will be our home for a couple of weeks. They have a small motorhome too so you can guess what the topic of most conversations will be when we're with them. “The Sidings”, Ludborough is a fab little place just below the Wolds. Jen and Wayne have done a lovely job of converting their railway carriage and the site is gorgeous. We are looking forward to our annual visit and so are the dogs, Bess and Pwdin. There are lots of rabbits there while there aren't many in Mumbles. They are certainly not the sedate sort of dogs that happily abide in apartments!