Relevance

 I’m not too sure what day it is anymore. It was reported yesterday that the death toll world-wide from coronavirus now stands at 53,000. I guess there will also be many who have just passed away unnoticed and unaided. 

Our TV/radio is our window on the pandemic. Our wobbly phone signal and internet connection is the only way to maintain contact with anyone because here, looking out from our windows, all we see are empty caravans that by now would have been reverberating with human activity. Outdoor furniture sets lie in wait for bikinis and barbecues; bikes and trikes for excited children; canoes, surfboards, buckets, spades, paddling pools.......all quietly waiting; very quietly. 

This quietness is like the quietness we’d observe at a funeral. That’s one way to feel about it. But if we didn’t know that a pandemic is raging ‘out there’ Nature in its bliss would predominate in our awareness. Bird song is more evident, rabbits are running amok, grass is no longer in fear of lawnmowers. 

It’s surreal.

I have wondered about my relevance in all this, and whether I should presume to have any part to play. In the bigger picture I am just a statistic. Our government officials each night present us with graphs of how this thing is progressing. We are shown the faces of a few who have died, some of their stories told in order to remind us of how tragic this is, because the bodies are piling up and inside every body bag are the remains of a lived life.

Our NHS are our heroes right now, badly treated though they have previously been by Trusts, government and by so many of the general public. We clapped them again last night, from our remote hideaway, joining with the rest of the nation to thank everyone on the front line. But do they want thanks? It must help their morale, I guess, but what they really want is enough PPE to do their job safely, and to be tested for the virus or immunity. And I’ve been wondering if there’s anything I can do to help apart from staying home as directed, doing ‘fuck all’.

I’ve made some attempts at helping out remotely with the grand-children; creating a few little on-line amusements within the limited scope of my technological abilities. I’m hoping it’s sufficient to maintain a connection with them, to remain relevant to them. They are growing up so fast and no one knows how long this will go on - how long before families can gather together again.

Last night I found a Pinterest post of instructions to make face masks. It was created by Jessica Nandino, a nurse who produced her own face masks in the absence of sufficient workplace supply. She requests that no one use her pattern and instruction for monetary gain but to make them and give them to the front-line. If that’s all I can do to have some relevance in these unprecedented times, I’m on the case.